Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2021-12-28/Humour

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Humour

Buying Wikipedia

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By Sdkb
Originally posted as the humorous essay Help:Buying Wikipedia, by Sdkb and 10 other editors. You may edit this essay, but only on the original page. – eds.

Howdy! Are you a government sick and tired of being described as a state sponsor of terrorism? Or an autocratic regime that wishes a few pesky articles would just go away? How about a multinational corporation that could use some nifty advertising? Well, you've come to the right place! As of 18 April 2024, Wikipedia is officially FOR SALE!!!

That's right! All 6,813,879 articles on English Wikipedia (including this one) could be yours to do with as you please. You could delete rival products, win presidential elections, change national borders, anything at all!

The current price of Wikipedia is:

$82,779,443,378,379,420.69

update

If this sounds expensive, we suggest you purchase immediately, as the price is only going to go up. Make your payment here.

Frequently asked questions

Q: Why are you selling Wikipedia?

A: Someone told us that we're mean bullies for deleting their page. That hurt our feelings, so we're passing on the problem to someone else.


Q: Who can buy it?

A: Anyone! Whether you're an insanely wealthy stock broker with $82,779,443,378,379,420.69 spare cash on hand or a lowly peasant with $82,779,443,378,379,420.69 spare cash on hand, we won't discriminate.


Q: What can I do once I own it?

A: Anything you want, so long as you don't delete the main page.


Q: Won't this sale rob the project of its credibility, its main asset, effectively rendering it worthless?

A: Don't worry about that.


Q: Why is it so expensive?

A: Shipping, we think.


Q: Are the contributors included?

A: No.


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  • Updated the price. Now it's the same as it is. WinUser5 (talk) 17:31, 28 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Quite amusing, but tell me, how does a "lowly peasant" have a quadrillion dollars? Also, no thanks, I'd need the credible contributors if I was suddenly rich enough to buy it. Prairie Astronomer Contributions 16:49, 29 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    how does a "lowly peasant" have a quadrillion dollars? Now this is why hard work is important! If you pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and don't waste money on things like solid gold barnstars, it doesn't matter if you're only earning minimum wage. In fact, if you're a lowly peasant and don't have a quadrillion dollars, it means you're lazy and an inferior human being and don't deserve any government assistance since you'd just squander it anyways. {{u|Sdkb}} talk 17:28, 29 December 2021 (UTC)[Humor][reply]
    You haven't heard about Ronald Read (philanthropist)? – SD0001 (talk) 11:45, 30 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Nice. Qzekrom (she/her • talk) 05:13, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Very Nice & Very Funny!! 🤣🤣 -Kpddg (talk) 14:42, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • If you buy in the next five minutes, you'll get a kiss on the forehead free of charge! Panini!🥪 17:21, 20 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Whelp time to sell all of my barnstars as NFTS... MrMeAndMrMeLet's talk 05:10, 28 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]


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